Monday, April 26, 2010

APing Older Kids

I haven't posted forever. Part of that is that this pregnancy kicked my butt the first little while. I forgot how sick and exhausted a pea sized little person could make you!! The other part is that I'm not sure where I fit in AP right now. When I think of AP I think of babies. Not so much older kids. I've been trying to think of ways that I practice AP with my older kids? Well, I home school so they are with me most all of the time... But they each have there activities, gymnastics, taekwondo, piano...I don't stay there with them always.
I'm not sure...I mean I'm super affectionate and try to be as available to them as much possible no matter the age, but I'm not sure that's really an AP practice.

As I was looking around on the web I found these 10 principles in THIS ARTICLE
Communicate your love to your child in word and deed each and every day.

Listen for the feelings behind your child's verbal communication and respond to those feelings in an accepting way.

Show respect for your child's unique ideas and opinions.

Discuss mutual goals and plans with your child frequently. Go over the next day's schedule at bedtime. Make sure everyone knows where they will be going, what they will be doing, and what each person's responsibility will be.

Notify your child personally when plans change suddenly.

Continue to touch your child affectionately with hugs, pats on the back, sitting together to read, etc.

Model and teach courtesy, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty, loyalty, responsibility, fairness, and forgiveness.

Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities at home.

Recognize, acknowledge, and praise your child when he makes an effort to do something good -good school papers, obeying parents, helping at home. Make a big deal out of it!

Avoid destructive expressions of anger such as insulting, sarcasm, shaming, yelling, or spanking the child. Use Discipline with Dignity

I think I do most of those things most of the time, so I guess I am still practicing some AP ideas with my older kids also.
So, what do ya think??

Monday, April 5, 2010

Restaurant Calls Police on a BF Mother

I found this article today and was appalled. Now I know there are two sides to every story, but from what I understand the press is really trying to spin it in the restaurant's favor. So sad.

You can read the mother's side of the story

And you can read a great retort to the restaurant

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Beth's mommy instinct story

I love my two year old, I really do.  When I was pregnant with him I was so excited to hold him and get to know him.  Before he was born I read a lot.  I knew I would breastfeed, I didn't like the sound of cry it out, I would wait six months to start solids and on and on.  I also thought I would vaccinate on schedule.  But that just did not feel right.  I distinctly remember when I was reading about vaccines and I would just start crying because I did not want to do that to my baby.

Jay did not receive any shots until he was an older infant (6+months).  Even then they were quite spaced out.  Jay's first birthday came and went and I realized that he has not ever tried to speak.  At his 18 month birthday he had zero words and a few signs.  I asked for a referral for a speech evaluation.  The diagnosis was devastating.  Verbal apraxia.  Basically the brain is unable to send the right message to make the mouth work.  Well, I was not sure if that was the case.  I got a second opinion who is not sure if it is apraxia or not.  We will have to see.  She did let me know about Early Intervention services.  I am so happy we started him on those.  He is a lot more verbal, though I think I am the only one who can understand him most of the time.  His signing vocabulary has grown.  He is happier and more confident.

After my second son I thought I would have him on a delayed vaccination schedule, but actually have felt comfortable with sticking to the doctor's schedule with a few tweaks here and there.  I realize that maybe there was a very important reason to delay Jay's vaccinations.  Who knows?  I am just glad I followed my mommy instinct with this issue.

I have also learned to respect other mommies in their decisions.  I offer my advice as nicely as I can, but if they want to put their baby to bed at 11:00pm that is fine with me.   This comes from having way too many people say "Einstein didn't talk until he was three, you don't need to start your boy in services" whenever they would hear that I am getting Jay some help.

I hope this post makes sense, it has been rattling around in my head for a few days. 
My sweet and wild two year old

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Fascinating Read

Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent

I came across
this book recently and I must say, it is one of the most interesting things I've ever read. Meredith F. Small is an anthropologist who explores ethnopediatrics, an interdisciplinary science that combines anthropology, pediatrics, and child development research in order to examine how child-rearing styles across cultures affect the health and survival of infants.

She seemed to validate many things that I have felt in my gut about parenting. I highly recommend this book!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Cloth Diaper Store

I am working on a babywearing post but I just realized I never "pimped myself out"

Here is the link to my store. I need to restock soon! I am running a special on the babyhawks still for $20 off!

They are the most awesome carriers EVER! We still use ours and Tyler is 22 months!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A Happy 5 Month Old

Devin is five months old already. Where is the time going? How can you look at him and not want to spend every second of the day just squeezing his chunky body? Oh he is the sweetest thing. This time is fleeting so I am trying to savor every minute of his babyhood.

CIO Thread

I frequent a parenting message board on Baby Center. I don't know why I visit this board because I always end up walking away wanting to hurt someone. Here is a thread that was started yesterday about CIO. What are your thoughts?

The CIO Method- An Interesting Perspective

This post is taken directly from What an interesting way to look at it!

There was a time, not so long ago in my life, when I was nearly as helpless as a baby. It was a dark time in my life, when it should have been a radiant one. I was pregnant, and joyously happy about it, but my body was not. I was sick, and not in a "oh I don't feel so hot" kind of way. It was a "if I didn't have big things to live for, I'd want to die" kind of sick. Some of you may have experienced this too. I could literally not even hold down a sip of water or a nibble of food. Eating made me throw up. Not eating made me throw up. I would throw up stomach bile. Anyway, the point is that I was VERY weak. At 4 months pregnant, I weighed less than I did when I was 16 (and everyone called me stick girl back then). My clothes were falling off of me, instead of becoming tight. Every few days, I would be able to hold down maybe one meal's worth of food. In case you are wondering, it is called Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and it typically does not respond to medical or natural treatments. We tried anything that wouldn't be harmful to the baby, and nothing worked. Despite the physical misery, the emotional scars I suffered at the hands of a loved one were far more profound.

I grew so weak that I could rarely leave the bed. I needed support just walking the 10 feet to the bathroom. I needed a shower stool and help getting clean. Just raising my arms to wash my hair was an immense strain. I relied heavily on my husband.

My husband was loving during the day, but things would change at night. He would leave me in the bed, tell me it was time to sleep, shut off the lights, and walk out. I would say "But honey, I'm not ready to sleep yet" but he would ignore me. It was confusing. Sometimes, I'd be having a day where I felt I may be able to eat or drink something, and I would call out to him, asking for something. Again, he would ignore me. Sometimes he would poke his head in, but it was only to tell me that I needed to go to sleep and I was "fine". I had times where I grew very depressed. On top of being sick and miserable, I missed my husband's loving arms. Sometimes I just needed to be held and comforted. Still, he would ignore me. I began to wonder why my needs were valid during the day, but not at night. At times, he would leave the room far too cold or warm. Sometimes I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Sometimes the pain all over my body became unbearable. Sometimes I was just very scared and lonely. Alas, no matter what I felt or needed, my husband ignored me.

I longed desperately for my independance, and loathed needing another person for even the smallest things, but for the time being, there was nothing I could do but ask for enough help to at least keep myself and our baby alive. I was so hurt and confused. I would weep bitterly, alone in the dark. One night, I overheard my mother in law talking with my husband. She said "Just let her cry. She has to learn. Don't let her manipulate you, she doesn't really need anything. Keep it up and you'll win eventually." Win? What exactly was he going to win, and at what cost?

Eventually, I lost all trust in my husband. I would lie there in bed, hungry, hot, cold, hurting, and/or just plain sad and lonely. I stopped asking for help. I later heard my husband boast that he had finally "trained" me. So now I was an animal. Why did he get to decide what needs and feelings of mine were valid, and which were not? Why was it okay for him to be my husband during the day, to love me, talk with me, and help me, but at night time all my needs were expected to suddenly cease? I would never be able to fully trust or open my heart to him again.

In the darkest time of my life, my most beloved person failed to be there for me. My needs were small, things that would take very little time or effort, but were of great importance to my physical and emotional health. I was neglected. You may even call it abuse. Fortunately, it was a brief time in my life. Unfortunately, there are countless more victims of this kind of neglect, and even worse. They are even more helpless than I was. They are babies. Sweet, innocent babies. They have parents that love them fiercely and truely, but fall victim to beliefs and advice that (usually) inadvertently put babies on a level even lower than animals. Books and well-meaing friends or family tell tired new parents to "just let her cry". This is often referred to as CIO (cry-it-out) or "controlled crying", although the already twisted concept of controlled crying is often further misunderstood and warped and becomes "I let my baby scream for 2 hours and eventually she threw up and wasn't the same for weeks after".

Helpless babies are expected to cease all "neediness" once a certain time on the clock comes around. Their God/nature-given intincts to cry and express real physical AND emotional needs are ignored or written off as manipulation or just plain not "real" needs. Why? If a sick adult or an elderly person were treated in such a way, they would suffer in deep ways and the person responsible for their care could even end up in prison.

Why are babies treated as less than human? Why would we WANT to teach our children that we won't be there for them? Why should we get to pick and choose which needs are "real" and which ones are not. Why should our job as parents simply end at night? Just because they've been fed and changed doesn't mean they are "fine". All they have is their instincts. For all they know, a predator could be lurking and waiting to eat them! They are programmed by God/nature to want to be near us for their own safety and for their proper development. We know that human contact is essential to the developing brain of a baby, but we deny their natural pleas for such contact. We lock them in the dark and even though we may sing, pat them, and say "you're okay, sweetie", when we walk out of the room and leave them in the dark alone they may still be cold, hot, uncomfortable, in pain, or just plain scared or lonely! Why is that so wrong? "Cry it out" or "controlled crying" is just neglect with a different name.

Scientists everywhere know the short and long term consequences of these so-called "methods", and they are vast. Most parents also instinctually know these things. Some parents listen to those instincts, and others listen to people like my mother in law who say "Just let her cry. She has to learn. Don't let her manipulate you, she doesn't really need anything. Keep it up and you'll win eventually." These people usually mean well. They aren't setting out to harm a child, but that doesn't change the fact that they are. Argue with me all you want. Say "I let my baby cry it out, and he/she is fine". I don't believe you. I believe you broke your child like an animal. I believe they gave up. They didn't magically learn to "self-soothe", they just figured out that you suck at being a parent at night time. YOU will be old some day, or you may find yourself in a helpless situation even earlier than that. See how you feel if another person tells you what to feel, when to feel it, and how to express it. See how you feel if they ignore your feelings and only meet the needs that THEY deem valid. See how you feel if you are treated like less than an animal, someone that must be trained. Someone that must lose, so they can win. A baby has far less capacity to understand these things, so the next time your little helpless one cries out, remember that they cry for a reason. Even just wanting to be held is a real NEED. If you've ever seen what happens to those babies in foreign orphanages that never get held or talked to, you'll realize the incredible importance of human contact. It's so simple.

I could go on for days with even a million more reasons, but I will leave you with a few resources, and a simple piece of advice. Next time you hear "Just let him/her cry", think twice. You'll never regret being there for your child.

Edit: It was mentioned that I condemned CIO/sleep training without offering alternatives. I guess my links below were missed? Anyway, I'll add some more ;-)

Pinky McKay does an excellent job of summing up the very real damage that "controlled crying" can do. This is a must-read on the subject! Enjoy.

Dr. Sears is another great resource. If you have a baby with sleep problems or just want to learn more about babies and sleep in general, give it a look!

The No-Cry Sleep Solution:

TONS of great articles about sleep:

Anyone please feel free to share more! I'm pretty tired at the moment, but its hard to find time when I am both well-rested AND have the time to write :-P

***ALSO! This is very important. I want to make it very clear, for the sake of my friends that may be rather concerned now, that the above story is only half-true and was given a different spin for the purpose of making people think. I was unfortunately very sick and helpless, but my husband would NEVER neglect or abuse me in such a way. I did want to make people think though. If any other helpless person (sick, injured, elderly) were treated in the ways described, people would be disgusted. The fact that babies are often "trained" in such a manner proves that babies are still viewed by many people as lesser beings with invalid needs and feelings, even though the care-taker probably doesn't realize that is what they are doing.

I would also like to add that when a parent is near their breaking point and has to put their child down in a safe space and leave the room briefly for the sake of gathering their sanity, that is VERY different. This is essential to preventing a mental break in the parent and possible harm to the child. Do not feel guilty if you've found yourselves in moments like these. It is an entirely different situation than it is to leave a child crying, screaming, even vomiting alone in the dark on a regular basis for "training" purposes.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Babywearing Guidelines

I just saw this link on Facebook and wanted to share. Warning: it is a bit sad. I was actually not aware that baby's chin shouldn't touch his chest, so that was good for me to read.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Nursing a Toddler

Nursing toddlers benefit NUTRITIONALLY
  • Although there has been little research done on children who breastfeed beyond the age of two, the available information indicates that breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.
  • "Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."
    -- Mandel 2005
  • "Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins."
    -- Dewey 2001
  • In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
    • 29% of energy requirements
    • 43% of protein requirements
    • 36% of calcium requirements
    • 75% of vitamin A requirements
    • 76% of folate requirements
    • 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
    • 60% of vitamin C requirements
    -- Dewey 2001
  • Studies done in rural Bangladesh have shown that breastmilk continues to be an important source of vitamin A in the second and third year of life.
    -- Persson 1998
Nursing toddlers have FEWER ALLERGIES
  • Many studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent allergies and asthma is to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months and continue breastfeeding long-term after that point.

    Breastfeeding can be helpful for preventing allergy by:
    1. reducing exposure to potential allergens (the later baby is exposed, the less likely that there will be an allergic reaction),
    2. speeding maturation of the protective intestinal barrier in baby's gut,
    3. coating the gut and providing a barrier to potentially allergenic molecules,
    4. providing anti-inflammatory properties that reduce the risk of infections (which can act as allergy triggers). 
    Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest. 

    Nursing toddlers are WELL ADJUSTED SOCIALLY
    • According to Sally Kneidel in "Nursing Beyond One Year" (New Beginnings, Vol. 6 No. 4, July-August 1990, pp. 99-103.):

      "Research reports on the psychological aspects of nursing are scarce. One study that dealt specifically with babies nursed longer than a year showed a significant link between the duration of nursing and mothers' and teachers' ratings of social adjustment in six- to eight-year-old children (Ferguson et al, 1987). In the words of the researchers, 'There are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration of breastfeeding.'"
  • According to Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq. in "Extended Breastfeeding and the Law":
    "Breastfeeding is a warm and loving way to meet the needs of toddlers and young children. It not only perks them up and energizes them; it also soothes the frustrations, bumps and bruises, and daily stresses of early childhood. In addition, nursing past infancy helps little ones make a gradual transition to childhood."
  • Baldwin continues: "Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable." Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely. 
Nursing a toddler is NORMAL
  • The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)
  • The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that "Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired." They also note that "If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned." (AAFP 2001)
  • A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)
  • The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1992, WHO 2002).
  • Scientific research by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect (Dettwyler 1995). 
MOTHERS also benefit from nursing past infancy
  • Extended nursing delays the return of fertility in some women by suppressing ovulation (References).
  • Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer (References). Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.
  • Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer (References).
  • Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer (References).
  • Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer (References).
  • Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis. During lactation a mother may experience decreases of bone mineral. A nursing mom's bone mineral density may be reduced in the whole body by 1 to 2 percent while she is still nursing. This is gained back, and bone mineral density may actually increase, when the baby is weaned from the breast. This is not dependent on additional calcium supplementation in the mother's diet. (References).
  • Breastfeeding reduces the risk of rheumatoid arthritis. (References).
  • Breastfeeding has been shown to decrease insulin requirements in diabetic women (References). 
  • Breastfeeding moms tend to lose weight easier

Six months and counting

My sweet little guy is six month old and still loving the boob. Lovin' the boob so much he does not even want to try solids yet.

He is big, healthy and his favorite place to be is nuzzling into his mama for his favorite snack.

Maybe it isn't as 'convenient' for me as bottle feeding would be, but looking at his happy face grabbing at my shirt to get inside is worth the so called 'bother'.


Benefits of Formula Feeding?

I came across this article and was shocked. How freaking selfish can you be?

Many mothers today are made to feel guilty about bottle feeding their baby. The medical profession, the media, family, strangers in the street, all eulogize the benefits of breastfeeding. We're told; it's natural; it has just the right nutrients for your baby; it promotes better bonding between mother and child; it's environmentally friendly! All of these things are true to an extent but the plain fact is, many mothers do not breastfeed their child and many are made to feel like a pariah if they opt for the bottle. Promoting breastfeeding as being best is fine, but disparaging mothers who bottle feed is not.

If you are a mother who has chosen not to breastfeed, and who can't breastfeed, you must never, ever feel guilty about doing so. Today's baby milk formula is the closest it has ever been to breast milk. It also comes fortified with many nutrients that are low or absent in many mother's breast milk. Formula milk is fortified with iron and vitamin D. Fact: Iron-fortified infant formulas have actually been credited for the declining incidence of anemia in infants. For this reason, the American Academy of Pediatrics highly recommends that mothers who are not breastfeeding use an iron-fortified infant formula. So, as far as nutrition goes, a mother need have no worries about giving her baby milk formula.
Being a mother is very tiring. Infant formula milk is not as easily digested as mother's milk. Consequently, the baby feels satiated for longer periods and this extends the time between feedings at an earlier stage. So a mother who bottle feeds can get more rest between feeds than a mother who breastfeeds.

One major cause of concern for breastfeeding mothers is knowing whether or not her baby is getting enough milk. Not so with infant formula. A mother who bottle feeds her baby knows exactly how much she has fed her child and can rest easy knowing her child has received its recommended daily allowance.
A mother who bottle feeds her child can return to a more normal life than a mother who breastfeeds. A mother who bottle feeds can wear the clothes she wants; a nursing mother has to wear clothes to accommodate her hungry baby. A mother who bottle feeds can eat the diet she chooses and not have to worry about drinking alcohol; a breastfeeding mother's diet is a much duller affair. Bottle feeding mothers can take medication when the need to; a breastfeeding mother has to be very careful about any medication she takes as this will be passed on to baby through her breast milk, in fact some medication may even stop her milk production.
Lovemaking is sometimes not easy for the breastfeeding woman because the hormonal changes associated with lactation leaves her vagina dry. In addition, breastfeeding can lead to sore nipples and leaky breasts, which are not conducive to lovemaking. A bottle feeding mother should not have these problems. She also has the added benefit of being able to choose the contraception of her choice. A breastfeeding mother cannot take the oral pill as its hormones will be passed on to baby through her breast milk.
A mother who bottle feeds her child can begin to diet six weeks after delivery. A breastfeeding mother on the other hand, has to be careful about her diet.
Bottle feeding in public tends to be far less embarrassing for a mother than does breastfeeding. A consequence is that many mothers who choose to bottle feed generally venture outdoors much more than those who breastfeeding; society has not made public breastfeeding easy for mothers.
So, next time you may feel as though you're letting yourself and baby down, remember that they are many advantages to giving your baby infant formula, for both mother and child.
A friend of mine said the following:

I find these types of articles quite comical.  Majority, if not all of the benefits, are for the mother.  You don't have to feel guilty if you bottle feed, but seriously, there are no benefits to bottle feeding for the baby OVER breastfeeding.  Here's my response to every point she makes.

Today's baby milk formula is the closest it has ever been to breast milk.

And so it was 30 years ago, and 20 years ago, and 10 years ago, and will be 10 years from now.  They’re always as close as they can get for the time that we’re in, but that doesn’t mean they’re really close.  We also don’t even know all of what’s in breastmilk so it’s hard to compare.

It also comes fortified with many nutrients that are low or absent in many mother's breast milk.
Fortified is another way of saying unnaturally added vitamins.  Also, the reason that breast milk lacks these “fortified vitamins” are because we’re trying to grow human babies slowly, not cows.  Human babies don’t need as much iron as cows, and humans can’t absorb as much iron from cows either.

Infant formula milk is not as easily digested as mother's milk. Consequently, the baby feels satiated for longer periods and this extends the time between feedings at an earlier stage. So a mother who bottle feeds can get more rest between feeds than a mother who breastfeeds.

The baby is having a harder time digesting and this is a benefit?  Wow.  This is only a benefit to a mother’s sleep, which the mother will get in time and with a proper sleep routine.  If you want sleep that bad, don’t have a baby.  BTW, nursing gives the mother a time out so she has no choice but to rest. :)

A mother who bottle feeds her baby knows exactly how much she has fed her child and can rest easy knowing her child has received its recommended daily allowance.

Even better, when you don’t bottle feed you don’t have to worry at all about how much your baby is getting because as soon as they pop off and don’t want the boob anymore you can say they are done, no measuring required.  Wet diapers and weight gains are ways of knowing your baby is eating enough. BTW, if you can’t measure how much breastmilk a baby is getting, where did the recommended daily allowance come from then?

A mother who bottle feeds her child can return to a more normal life than a mother who breastfeeds.

Normal?  So I can live like I don’t have a kid anymore?  Awesome.  Er… what is normal anyways?  If we are talking about a normal body, then breastfeeding will actually help you lose weight much faster and ease your hormones rather than if you were to formula feed.

A mother who bottle feeds can wear the clothes she wants; a nursing mother has to wear clothes to accommodate her hungry baby.
I can find a way to feed my baby in anything I wear.  I can find a way to pop a boob out for the babe.

A mother who bottle feeds can eat the diet she chooses and not have to worry about drinking alcohol; a breastfeeding mother's diet is a much duller affair.
We all know that when you’re a mother you’re up at 10 AM with a full bottle of wine.  I mean really, who can drink a lot while your child is awake anyways?  If you need that much alcohol, you have a problem.  Otherwise just drink after your child has just finished nursing, it’s not hard.And I can eat pretty much anything I want!

Bottle feeding mothers can take medication when they need to; a breastfeeding mother has to be very careful about any medication she takes as this will be passed on to baby through her breast milk, in fact some medication may even stop her milk production.

This is true.  If you have a serious disease/illness/problem where you can’t stop your medication, then don’t, and choose not to breastfeed.  Likely you can breastfeed on this medication anyways. Mothers milk with medication in it still far surpasses artifical milk

Lovemaking is sometimes not easy for the breastfeeding woman because the hormonal changes associated with lactation leaves her vagina dry.  In addition, breastfeeding can lead to sore nipples and leaky breasts, which are not conducive to lovemaking.
Use lube if you’re dry, duh.  Sore nipples will either heal over a short time or your latch was/is not correct, try to fix it early.  Leaky breasts only last up to 2 months, until you stop leaking they make nursing pads, use those.  Lovemaking… who the hell wants to have sex when you have a baby anyways? Also, your husband should not care about you leaking. Find a new husband if he is bothered by it. I personally have no dry problems.

A breastfeeding mother cannot take the oral pill as its hormones will be passed on to baby through her breast milk.
A breastfeeding mother can use the mini pill if that’s her choice. A mother can also take a normal pill. The hormones passing to the baby are not the issue. There are condoms which are hormone free and probably better for you anyways.  There’s IUDs, diaphragms, and uhh just knowing when you’re fertile and avoiding.  Even better though, breastfeeding hormones usually prevent you from getting your period for about 6 months or more.  This is your body’s way of keeping you from having another baby too soon, naturally.

A mother who bottle feeds her child can begin to diet six weeks after delivery. A breastfeeding mother on the other hand, has to be careful about her diet
A fad diet to which you can’t have while you breastfeed is probably not good for the mother as well.  There are times when you have to cut dairy or certain veggies out too, but there are plenty of other foods you can eat, choose one of those.  But the great thing about breastfeeding is that nursing helps you burn calories so you don't have to "diet."

Bottle feeding in public tends to be far less embarrassing for a mother than does breastfeeding. A consequence is that many mothers who choose to bottle feed generally venture outdoors much more than those who breastfeeding; society has not made public breastfeeding easy for mothers

Actually I think breastfeeding is far less embarrassing.  I’m proud to have breastfed, why would I not want to show people what I’ve accomplished?  And the fact that the public doesn’t make it easy for mothers is a problem that society needs to get over, but the mother, she’s done nothing wrong.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Great Read

I just want to recommend a really good book that I just read. It's a worth while book for all parents to look at. It is called: The Two-Income Trap, Why Middle-class Mothers & Fathers Are Going Broke. It is written by Professor Elizabeth Warren and her daughter Amelia Warren Tyagi. You may wonder why I'm putting this recommendation on a parenting blog and how it is relevant. In my mind anything that improves a family improves parenting. So, give it a read. Also, if you are worried that it stresses at-home-parenting and ignores the working mom... think again! This book offers great insight for everyone.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Nursing In Public

I can't recall where I found this, but I think it's pretty dang funny...and true!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Unfortunate Scene

I observed something on Saturday that left me feeling sad. This is it. Take it how you want to.

Our family was eating at a restaurant. It's a pretty rare occurrence for us because we have four little kids and it never goes well when we eat out. But on Saturday we were seated near a group that consisted of a fashionably dressed mom and dad who had a baby (I'd say to be about five months old) and another couple with no children. They were seated at a table with four chairs surrounding it. The baby stayed in her carseat the whole time, being more or less ignored by the parents. She would fuss a little and they would not really acknowledge her.

She started getting hungry. She was fussing and sucking on her little hands. The parents just kept talking and laughing with each other. Finally the father got up and got an empty bottle from the diaper bag. He walked away from the table and I assumed he was going to fill it with water to mix with formula. As he was walking away, he passed a table where seated were some friends of his because he stopped to talk to them. The baby started crying more and more. Yet the father stood there at this table and laughed and talked with his buddies. I watched the mother who was still seated at their table and finally she started to at least jostle the car seat and shush the baby.

Her crying grew louder and louder. The father continued to chat with his friends, holding the empty bottle in his hand. He eventually said "Well I guess that's my cue" and left to get the bottle filled with water. By the time he returned to their table, the baby was screaming. She was starving. The mom quickly mixed the powder formula into the bottle and gave it to the infant. Never once did she pick up the baby to soothe her. Even as she drank her bottle, she remained in the carseat. And did I mention that bottle was propped up by a folded blanket as the baby drank? Yup, the mother didn't hold it. They were seated a table with ample room for her to comfortably hold the baby as she fed her. Cuddle with her. Make her feel better. They were done eating, just chatting so it's not like the mother needed her hand for feeding her own face. She never even picked the baby up.

The whole scene made me a little sick to my stomach.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

His Everything

This is Devin.
He has been outside the belly for 19 weeks now. He is one happy baby. He has never had anything in his tummy except Mommy's milk. He weighs about 16 1/2 pounds.

He is healthy.

He is alert.

He is smart.

He is well adjusted.

He is content.

This picture was taken right after he had a snack.

Try and tell me that he isn't getting everything he needs from Mommy.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Home Educating

I've been wondering what I could post about. There are a lot of posts on breastfeeding and baby stuff and I'm kind of out of that stage right now. My "baby" is 2 1/2 and I won't have another baby until October. I'm also in the stage of pregnancy when I feel "blah". I'm exhausted, nauseous and lacking motivation, so I haven't felt like the greatest mommy lately anyway.

We are a homeschooling family. This year and I am home schooling my 1st grader and preschooler. This is a big job for me. I home schooled my oldest son who is now almost 13, for K and 1st grade. I loved every minute of it. He is a quick learner and is a very mellow, obedient child. He was "easy" to teach. My 1st grader is just like me. Stubborn, independent and free spirited. He doesn't like authority at all! He is not so "easy" to teach! I've finally figured out a curriculum that is working for both him and I and it's getting better. Being able to stay home and teach my children is so rewarding. I love to see their eyes light up as they learn and master new things. I love to see them create new things and see their imaginations at work. I love to see the ties they build with each other. The connections that they have because they are all home together. I feel very blessed to be able to have my kids at home all the time.
BUT...I want to say this. I know that home schooling is not the best option for every family. I feel like we are ALL home schoolers to some extent. We all teach our children at home in some way, not always academically. I have a friend, whom I think is such a great mom. She does not home school and we have VERY different views and opinions on a lot of subjects. But she is so good to her kids. She makes a point to spend good, quality time with each of her children. She is very unselfish with her time. I see her spending her days doing art projects and reading and singing and playing games with her kids. You can just see how much she cares about them and that she really wants to teach them and help them grow. She is a great example to me as to what a nurturing mother should be. I really look up to her. So, I really believe that we are all "home schoolers" in one way or another. 
If you have thought about or are interested in home schooling, look into it. It's so great. I'd be happy to answer questions or point you in the direction of some good sites. There is so much great information out there. If you "feel" like home schooling is something you should do, then it probably is! :)

Monday, February 15, 2010


So let's say you have this super new car? And pretty much everyone you know is getting this same car. Let's say that you find some amazing information on how to make this car better. You find out how to make the car run better, look better, feel better and last longer. And best of all, the things you can do are FREE and so much easier than the way you have been taking care of the car. Not to say the way you have been taking care of the car is wrong but there is a better way to take care of it that you didn't know about fully. The way that it was supposed to be taken care of. Wouldn't you want to know about it? Wouldn't you want your friends to tell you if they had this information? I know I sure would.

WHY IS IT DIFFERENT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CHILD? Why do you get offended when people simply try to share information that can make your child healthier, happier and live longer?

This is how I feel about people who get all butt hurt about sharing parenting advice.... really? Why wouldn't you want to do better. I am not attacking what you did in the past but for the sake of your kids... try better next time. 

Veronica has the BEST quote on here..... 

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
— Maya Angelou

Saturday, February 13, 2010

So Glad I Didn't

Devin turned 4 months old on Thursday. He has been an exceptionally great nurser since he was born (not that I myself didn't go through an enormous amount of pain and setbacks in the beginning...). For the last serveral days he has seemed less satisfied with nursing. He started nursing around the clock again like he did as a newborn, and was very cranky and unhappy after each feeding.

On Thursday I felt very sad because I thought maybe he needed to start on solids. This was a huge blow to me because it made me feel like I wasn't able to give him everything he needed. I went on Facebook and asked around to see what I should do (lol- turning to society for the answers and not listening to my gut.) Most people told me it wouldn't hurt anything to start him on rice because THEIR pediatricians said it was okay. Yes, it likely is safe enough, but that isn't the only thing to consider.

I admit that when my oldest was a baby, I started him on rice at 3 1/2 months because he was VERY big (about 17 pounds at that age) and everyone said I wasn't giving him enough milk. He loved baby food from the second it touched his tongue. Well I'm sad to say that this did in fact begin a gradual weaning process and he weaned himself from nursing at 8 months. Then I tried #2 on solids at the same age and was very frustrated that she wanted nothing to do with them. I tried and forced solids on her LONG before she was ready. She tried to tell me that but I refused to listen.

Lauren, baby #3, went with out solids and lived solely on milk for the first 8 months of her life. She in turn nursed until she was 13 months old (but looking back I wish I'd nursed for a few more months). I really wanted that for Devin as well. So I promised myself I would not offer him anything but the breast until at least 6 months. And when he started becoming unsatisfied with my milk alone, it made me feel really sad!

He had his 4 month check up on Thursday and guess what- the poor guy had a massive double ear infection! Bad ears run in my husband's family. He and his siblings have very short eustachian tubes and had ear infections frequently as a result. So what I thought was a hungry baby, in fact turned out to be a hurting baby. He started turning to me more often for comfort, not because he was hungry. When I realized this, I was so happy! If he hadn't gone into the doctor that day, I likely would have become too frustrated and given him cereal at the tender age of 4 months.

I'm so glad he just needed his mommy to feel better. And I am more than happy to be there for him like that.

Beth's Introduction

I love babies.
Love them to pieces.
If I could have a permanent baby, like a pet, I would be in heaven.

I love newborns. I crave having my newborn babies as close to me as possible. I love to sleep with them. I love when they nuzzle in to nurse. That is just the most beautiful feeling.

I love when they become more aware of the world around them. When they are just drinking everything in with their eyes.

I love when babies start reacting. A smile, a laugh.

I love when babies start learning that they can interact with their world. That they can get smiles out of people or learning to use a toy.

I love when babies want to be more independent. It's hard because I wanted to stay the most important person in their life, but I love seeing their progression into becoming their own person.

I am Beth and I am addicted to babies (babyholic?). I have two children, a two year old and a five month old. My five month old and I are still in the honeymoon stage where we can't get enough of each other. My two year old and I have a more complex relationship.

I was drawn to this blog because of the premise, instinctive parenting. That just spoke to me as a great definition of what I want to do for my family. My parenting style is that I research many things and then find a solution that fits for my child. I do not think there is one size fits all in parenting. I believe in following your intuition for big and small decisions. I think that as parents we are given a gift from our Creator to be able to know what our child needs to thrive.

Here are a few of the topics I am passionate about and will probably be posting on:

I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding babies as long as possible. I delay solids as long as possible. I think that if my baby needed rice cereal I would have a third breast full of it.

I am a huge supporter of having a parent stay at home with children. Households that have one parent stay home are giving children one of the best gifts they can possibly give. No one can love your children like you can. One of my goals in my previous career as a financial educator was to help people find ways to stay home, too many have been told by the media that it is impossible to get by on one salary, but that is a huge myth.

I try to practice positive discipline with my oldest child. I believe that the consequence should be the lesson, not me lecturing or nagging him. My two year old has chores, yes he does. And he loves it and his behavior has greatly improved since then.

I am happy to be a part of this blog and cannot wait to learn from everyone else.

Me wearing both of my babies (about six months along with #2)


Friday, February 12, 2010

" I don't make enough milk"

I can not fathom any mother not trying to give their child the best. Personally I think that makes you a worse mother than one that will try. Yes, it may be hard and gross you out and be inconvient but for God's sake it is your child. You are going to have to do a lot of gross and hard things over the years. That is part of being a parent. Breastmilk is a MILLION times better than formula and can protect your baby from so many diseases and actually MAKE THEM SMARTER! Why on earth would you not even try to give your baby the best? How freaking selfish are you?

I know people will chime in and say "well I just couldn't do it" " I didn't make enough milk" and the various excuses that are completely false.

It is VERY rare that a woman CAN NOT breastfeed. Breast reduction is one of the leading reasons because the milk glands have been removed and a lot of times it is true that THESE women can't nurse but 99% of the rest of the world is equipped.

People that turn to me and say "well it just wasn't as easy for me as it was for you"...PISS ME OFF.  having a baby attached to me 24/7 when I was recovering from MAJOR surgery that I could feel with no pain medicine that would work IS NOT EASY. I wouldn't send him to the nursery to rest as was suggested. I wouldn't give him "just one bottle" so I could get a break. None of this was easy but I knew that this was what I had to do to make it work. So none of it was easy and do not tell me I am "lucky" that I worked my ass off.

Those first few days are CRITICAL. You can not supplement. You simply can't. Your body needs the stimulation to set up your prolactin receptors in your brain and to set you up for milk production for the duration of your nursing. One bottle can and will throw that off. Your body and your baby's body were designed in this way. Their stomach is the size of a marble and all they need is that coating colostrum. Its what they need. They don't need a two ounce bottle of processed cows milk. This will make them full and then they will not want to nurse and your body will not continue to do what it is supposed to.

So yes, when people say "I can't make enough milk" ... they really can't...because of thier actions, not because of their physiology . Had they not given a bottle of formula the very first day their body would not have told their breasts to produce less milk beacuse the baby didn't need it. So, I am sorry if it is hard to hear. But you did it to your self. Those first couple days are horrible. HORRIBLE and it is not easy so don't anyone tell me how "lucky" I was.

I may be saying how hard it is but it is SO worth it. Even if it doesn't help you bond or you don't enjoy it. You should enjoy what it is doing for your child! You would have to be a bad mother to not.

I can not tell you how many times I have heard people say after a couple weeks "well I just didn't make enough milk" and then you look over pictures of the baby in the hospital and they always have a bottle in their mouth... really? You are right, you don't make enough milk because you told your body that you didn't have a baby because your baby was drinking from a cow!

* I know a lot of women that need to supplement when they return to work because of supply problems and that is not what I am talking about here*

People seem to be so freaking upset when this gets talked about but why would you not want the best for your baby? Why would you not want to try again? Yes formula has a place in this world but if it were not so covienent for people to use just because "breastfeeding is too hard"... maybe we could all be healthier.

It's been proven that breastfed babies grow up to be leaner, healthier adults. Perhaps if we could get breastfeeding rates close to 100% we would not be such a sick nation.

Where would you rather be?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Introduction and "My Style"

Hello all! My name is Amber and I am excited to be contributing to this blog. I have 4 children with #5 on the way. I started my mothering journey very early in life. I was a teen mom and was clueless. I've learned so much over the years and continue to learn and grow daily. It never ceases to amaze me how different and unique each of my children are. I believe that is how parenting is. I've been criticised many times for the choices I'm making in raising my children, and I'll be honest...I've looked at family and friends before and have silently criticised their parenting styles and choices. But I believe, when it comes down to it, we are all here, doing what we know, and trying our best to be the best parents we know how to be. It's my goal to be a better mother to my children everyday. To be more loving, to be more patient, to be more compassionate.
I am a home birthing mom, I'm passionate about breastfeeding, I love to co-sleep, wear my babies, I've tried my hand at cloth diapering (but it only lasted a few months :)), and I also home school my kids. I love having them with me and can't imagine sending my kids out the door everyday. Don't get me wrong, I need my time too, and take advatage of grandma when she wants the kids. It's nice to have some time away and recharge.
I really like Veronica's term "Instinctive Parenting". If I had to put a label on myself, that is probably what it would be. I do what I feel is right at the time and that may be slightly different in each and every circumstance. No two children are exactly the same and so therefore cannot be taught or parented the exact same way.

Why Instinctive Parenting?

I've had several people ask me if "instinctive parenting" is an actual parenting style or if it's a term I made up. The answer- I don't know. But I decided to make that the title of this blog because I feel it is all encompassing.

We live in an era where there is a certain way or protocol for how we are supposed to parent. Each child and each infant is more like a check list than an individual. But in reality, each baby and human being has different needs and they grow, develop, and evolve at different levels.

The same goes for parents. There is no right or wrong way to parent your child. I believe that the majority of parents are just trying to get by and they are doing the best they can. We are all learning as we go, right? So what I hope to convey through this blog is the idea that we need to sometimes throw caution to the wind, say to hell with society, and do what feels natural and right to us. Let Mother Nature do her thing.

There is a common denominator that connects us all as a species, but sadly it is something that most of us never acknowledge. And this is it- human beings are in fact animals. And just like any animal, we have instincts. That carnal part of our brain is what helps us to know what is right, what is safe, what feels wrong, and what makes us comfortable. And it's when we forget that simple concept that we begin to lose confidence in ourselves and start turning to "society" for the answers.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Anelgesic Effects of Breastfeeding

I found this article today and it is very interesting. Just another reason why breastmilk is nectar of the Gods!

About Nursing in Public

I recently found a blog I really enjoy, called Woman Uncensored. I really enjoy her straightforward writing style, so I thought I'd share. There is one article in particular I liked, because I'd never thought about it this way before. It's about nursing in public. Read it here. Warning, I think she swears once or twice :)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Amazing Birth Story

Grab a box of tissues. You will likely go through the entire box as you cry your eyes out. Read this birth story and you will know what I mean. It is incredibly moving. So very beautiful. This woman is so blessed.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Cry it Out: You think I should do WHAT to my newborn baby?

I want to start this out by saying that I don't intend to cause problems with this post. But I am a little straight-forward in what I have to say about this. In some cases, "cry it out" can be helpful--in older children. But let me back up and start at the beginning...

A couple of days ago, I had posted on my Facebook profile my minor frustrations at not being able to shower because the baby woke up right before I was going to get in. Any time I post anything about what the baby is doing on Facebook, I get at least ten responses of un-solicited (and sometimes completely wacko) advice. So, as usual, I had a bunch of responses to my shower dilemma. And to my dismay, two people were encouraging me to let my three week old infant just sit and cry while I take a shower. Wow, seriously?! Sorry, but I don't care that much about my hygiene!! I absolutely cannot justify letting my child sit and cry just so I can smell a little less stinky!! An older child, sure. But here's my reasoning for not letting a tiny baby sit and cry: they are completely dependent upon their mothers for food, love, cleanliness, and all the things that babies need. They cry when they need something, and they need it now!! He's not saying, "oh, you can feed me when you get around to it, when it's convenient for you..." but "I'm hungry now, I need to eat now!" And he's not saying he wants a toy or a cookie or something completely unnecessary. A tiny baby's wants are the same as his needs.

So, no, I am not going to let my child sit and cry while I take a shower. Yes, I know moms need mommy time too, but that's what baby's nap time is for. I think when you become a mother you need to set aside your own wants, and even some of your needs, to take care of this little person who is completely dependent upon you to fill his needs and wants. It takes some sacrifice. That's what being a mom is all about.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Quick Note

I just wanted to let people know that Veronica won't be posting for a couple of days. Their computer has a virus and is out of comission for a bit. Keep your comments and thoughts coming!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Brandi's Feelings On Attachment Parenting

When my five year old son was still just tiny I felt really insecure. As a result of my fears and insecurities I was bombarded with advice. I was sleep deprived, frustrated and just wanting to be happy with parenthood. Several people (including Parent's Magazine) suggested that I put my baby on a schedule. I made an effort (though not whole hearted) to get us on a schedule and was miserable. I don't even remember how it came about but, for some reason I decided to keep C in bed with me. Amazingly, the first night we both slept through the night. I left my pajama top open and he just nursed as he felt the need. It worked so well that I continued sleeping with him until he was 8 or 9 months old. I would have kept sleeping with my baby but at the time we only had a full size bed and it started feeling crowded.

As for nursing... well, it was hard at first but lucky for me I had a very supportive mom and husband who urged me to keep it up even when I wanted to throw in the towel. As a result I nursed my baby until he was a year old. I didn't want to stop nursing but my pediatrician pressured me to stop. My baby wasn't in the "normal" range for weight. When I tried to tell the pediatrician that being skinny was just in his genes (my DH and I have always been on the skinny side) he just dismissed it and insisted that I give up nursing and start feeding my little guy children's ensure to fatten him up. Sadly, I forced my baby to be weaned and endured several hellish nights. I was so depressed to give up nursing, I knew my baby wasn't ready to be weaned (and I didn't really want to stop) but, I allowed a "professional" to bully me into it. I'm happy to report though that my second son nursed until he was 15 months and my third son is 13 months and we're still going strong.

Other aspects of attachment parenting have come later for me. I tried baby wearing with my oldest but, didn't have a good carrier so I just held him all the time. It was when I had a third child that I knew I had to find a better carrier and I came across a great one. Here's the website: My third son spent everyday for the first month or two in there. It was a much safer alternative to putting him down where his brothers could get to him. It also freed up my hands to hold the older kids' hands when we went places and made it possible for me to get chores done as well as get in a workout. When my third son got to be 8 or 9 months the sleepy wrap wasn't as effective. Luckily, I had just become friends with a girl who had made a really nice Mei
for her daughter and she was willing to make me one. Now where ever I go I carry my little guy. It is so much nicer to carry him than to push him in a dirty shopping cart or try to get him to walk and hold his hand. I also like the fact that my little guy can see things at eye level instead of having to hold him and a stroller up to see things.

As for cloth diapers... I don't have support from DH and so sadly I've given up on changing his mind. I am a huge supporter of anyone who is willing to do it. I think that it is so much better for babies, and much more economical.

The aspect of attachment parenting I still struggle with (but am still trying to master) is gentle discipline. It is so easy to yell or spank and when it is the end of the day and I have frazzled nerves. It is also hard when your parenting role models yelled and hit. This in no means gives any excuse. Spanking and yelling are not good. However, I believe that we are all works in progress and it is our job to try to be better. I am happy to report that my 13 month old hasn't ever been spanked, and I hope it will always be that way.

The final thought that I want to put to you is homeschooling. Although attachment parenting groups are told not to have that as a requirement, I want to tell you I believe it is a natural carry over. So, while it isn't stressed in attachment parenting I'd recommend looking into it and make your decision from there. I hope to include articles and thoughts on homeschooling. I also want to say if you aren't perfect in your attachment parenting... keep trying! No one is perfect and we all have off days, that is why it is good to have blogs like this you can turn to for support. I hope that we can forge good friendships from this blog.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Mommy Needs Comfort Too

I have four children. The first one was an experiment in every sense of the word. I think that is pretty normal with the first child because Mom and Dad are figuring things out. Then the second baby came along and I thought I could do everything the exact same as I did with my oldest. That didn't work. Baby number two almost sent me over the edge for a lot of different reasons.

So I made a lot of mistakes with the first two babies. They survived and they are perfectly normal, happy, healthy, thriving kids today. No harm done. But when baby #3 came along I decided I was going to throw caution to the wind and do whatever felt right at the time, no matter how strange it seemed or how little sense it made. It was then that I began to understand for the first time that I had instincts! Wow, talk about a V8. I had instincts and if I just let go of my many hang ups, I would be able to hear Mother Nature tell me how to parent my new baby.

In the past I'd had an extremely hard time in the first couple of weeks after giving birth. My emotions are all over the place and for the life of me I could never figure out why I felt so anxious, scared, easily agitated, nervous, panicky, and just plain crazy at times. One evening when Lauren (baby #3) was about six days old I was lying on the couch. The baby was peacefully sleeping in her bouncer which was positioned a few feet away from me. The house was quiet and I was alone in the dark. The TV was on, mainly to serve as a distraction from my ever growing anxiety. As I laid there, I began to see the early signs of an onsetting panic attack. I'd had my fair share of them during my pregnancy and after the birth of my second baby.

As I laid there and felt my body begin to sweat and my limbs start to shake, I did everything I could to keep it at bay. And then, a light bulb went off in my head. I went over to where Lauren was sleeping and picked her up. I noticed that as soon as my skin touched her skin, I started to calm down right away. It was instantaneous. Then the two of us laid down on the couch and I laid her on my chest. I became even calmer still. And then I took it a step further- I lifted my tee shirt and stuck her inside, right against my chest. My shirt was very loose fitting and she fit perfectly against me. Yes, she could still breathe just fine. As I laid back on the couch, I could feel her pulse against my skin. I could smell her. I could hear her breathing. It was as if she was a part of me all over again.

The two of us laid like that for a couple of hours. The calmness and tranquility that overtook my body during that time is indescribable. To understand the magnitude of my panic just moments before, then to see the drastic change that took place when I put her inside of my is uncanny. This little exercise saved me time and time again in those first few weeks of her life.

It's funny because society has made us believe that when a baby is born, that baby needs to immediately learn independence from the mother. You are to take that baby, the same baby that has spent the last nine months in the warmth of her mother, and suddenly expect her to adapt to this cold and strange world.

On the same note, the mother is expected to immediately learn independence from this life that she grew so accustomed to feeling 24 hours a day, knowing that nothing in this world could harm that precious person inside her. Well I don't buy it. It's not just the baby who has a difficult time being suddenly ripped from the mother. Mom has just as hard a time, if not harder because she knows exactly what has taken place and she has the matured intelligence to feel sadness as a result. Sadness and despair (in many cases) is absolutely inevitable for the mother. Rather than teaching mothers to separate themselves from their babies so quickly, society should be embracing the idea of a gradual and natural separation. It's something that should take place ONLY when both mother and baby are completely ready.

I wish I had understood this concept with my first two babies. It could have saved me a lot of heartache and confusion.

Monday, January 25, 2010


Oh how I love wearing this guy against my chest. When I first put him in the sling he gazes up at me for a long time, and then he gradually drifts off to sleep. He could stay like this for hours. It's simply amazing how carnal babies are. They know their mamas and there is nothing more secure to them. He is so cuddly!

Awesome Thank You Card

My friend Leigh has started donating milk to a milk bank and they sent her some paperwork, along with a thank you card that had this printed on it-

Thank you for nursing your baby. Thank you for nursing in public. May future mothers never have to search for a secluded corner, dressing room, or rest room to nourish their babies. Nursing in America is becoming the norm and the credit goes to women like you! Breast milk- every ounce counts!

How cool is that?

Benefits of Breastfeeding


Breastfeeding is one of the most natural and beneficial acts a mother can do for her child. Dramatic health benefits have been proven to pass from mother to child through breastmilk From antibodies which protect an infant at the exclusive nutrients in mother's milk which have been shown to prevent a number of childhood diseases...the benefits are incalculable. There is no other single action by which a mother can so impact the present and future health of her baby.

Yet, in today's society, breastfeeding is often thought of as unnecessary. Young mothers are mistakenly led to believe that formula does very well as a replacement for breastmilk. It emphatically does not! Nothing can duplicate the properties of breastmilk, no matter how many vitamins, minerals and supplements are added to what is basically a chemical formulation.

Breastmilk remains the one and only natural, complete and complex nutrition for human infants. It is nature's formula for ensuring the health and quality of life for infants, as well as on through childhood to adult life. Just as importantly, breastfeeding promotes a very special bond between mother and child that only a mother can provide.

To fully understand the benefits of breastfeeding, these are some of the major, but by no means all of the benefits of breastfeeding your baby.

Breastfeeding Facts
Health Benefits to Babies Who Breastfeed

Children receive the most complete and optimal mix of nutrients & antibodies

The varying composition of breastmilk keeps pace with the infant's individual growth and changing nutritional needs

Have fewer incidences of vomiting and diarrhea in the US (20-35 million episodes of diarrhea occur in children under the age of 5, resulting in over 200,000 hospitalizations and 400-500 deaths in the U.S.)

Protection against gastroenteritis, necrotizing entercolitis

Reduced risk of chronic constipation, colic, and other stomach upsets

Reduced risk of childhood diabetes

Protection against ear infections, respiratory illnesses, pneumonia, bronchitis, kidney infections, septicemia (blood poisoning),

Protection against allergies, asthma, eczema, and severity of allergic disease

Reduced risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) Statistics reveal that for every 87 deaths from SIDS, only 3 are breastfed.

Protection against meningitis, botulism, childhood lymphoma, crohn's disease and ulcerative entercolits

Decreased risk of tooth decay (cavities)

Nursing promotes facial structure development, enhanced speech, straighter teeth and enhances vision.

Breastfed infants develop higher IQ's, and have improved brain and nervous system development; IQ advantage of 10-12 points studied at ages 8, 12, and 18. (Breastfeeding is considered the 4th trimester in brain growth and development...there are specific proteins in human milk that promote brain development))

Reduced risk of heart disease later in life

Increased bone density

Breastfeeding plays an important role in the emotional and spiritual development of babies

Breastfed babies enjoy a special warm bonding and emotional relationship with their mothers

Antibody response to vaccines are higher

Are hospitalized 10 times less than formula fed infants in the first year of life

The colostrum (first milk) coats the GI tract, preventing harmful bacteria and allergy -triggering protein molecules from crossing into baby's blood

Decreased risk for vitamin E and Iron deficiency anemia

Decreased risk for acute appendicitis, rheumatoid arthritis, inguinal hernia, pyloric stenosis

There are factors in human milk that destroy E coli, salmonella, shigella, streptococcus, pneumococcus....and many others

Less risk of childhood obesity

Health Benefits to Moms Who Breastfeed

Reduced risk of breast, ovarian, cervical, and endometrial cancers

Reduced risk of anemia

Protection against osteoporosis and hip fracture later in life

Reduced risk of mortality for women with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) has been associated with total time of lactation

Helps the mother's body return to its pre-pregnancy state faster - promotes weight loss...1/2 of calories needed to manufacture milk is pulled from fat stores... can burn from 500 - 1,500 calories per day.

Helps delay return of fertility and to space subsequent pregnancies

Develops a special emotional relationship and bonding with her child

Breastmilk is free- reducing or eliminating the cost of formula (in the thousands of dollars/per year)

Breastfed babies are sick less thus reducing healthcare costs to family in Doctor office visits, prescriptions, over the counter medicine purchases, and hospitalizations

Moms miss less time off from work due to child related illnesses

Helps the uterus contract after birth to control postpartum bleeding

Benefits to the Environment and Society

Breastfeeding reduces the cost of healthcare by promoting healthier children and mothers..........If all WIC babies in the U.S. were breastfed, our economical savings would be $33,000,000 per month ..........In 1993, 90,000 babies were hospitalized for RSV at a cost of 450 million dollars. Currently, the U.S. spends over 1 billion dollars a year on Otitis Media (ear infections)

Reduced insurance premiums for both parents and employers

Breastfeeding reduces global pollution by decreasing the use of resources and energy required to produce, process, package, distribute, promote and dispose of materials created by the manufacture and use of artificial baby milk

Reduced tax burden on communities and government to ensure children are properly fed

Reduced absenteeism in the workplace due to children's illnesses

Other Benefits from Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding makes you feel good, the hormones produced during nursing have an endorphin effect giving you a relaxed feeling.

You have a great excuse to sit down and relax.....

You can nurse while sleeping...nursing moms get more rest than formula feeding moms.

Breastfeeding saves moms about 7 hours a week off their feet.

No screaming baby in the middle of the night waiting on the formula to heat up.

It's the only time you can ever lose weight without dieting or exercise!

Breastfeeding is more convenient, when traveling, all you need is to take diapers, the milk is always available, sterile, and the right temperature.

During times of disaster, you don't have to worry about finding formula.

Breastfed babies smell great....spit ups don't stain, or smell, and poopie diapers are not offensive...(until solids are introduced)

Breastfed babies know their moms and will never confuse them with a sitter.

The strong bond developed with nursing is much more intense.

There is no feeling to describe the child suckling at your breast and letting go to give you a big smile; and knowing that the growth of your baby came from what your body produced! Wow! What a feeling!

The satisfaction of knowing you are giving your baby the best start in life!

Breastmilk taste great! Sweet tasting! Variations in taste according to foods moms eats. Have you ever tasted formula? Ugh!

Breastfeeding requires the use of only one can do other things while breastfeeding, (except cooking and driving)

Many, many more benefits, too numerous to list!!!

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Hello readers! Since this is a brand new blog I likely have no readers yet. But my plan is to have several authors who can contribute and give their thoughts and wisdom on many issues pertaining to attachment parenting and breastfeeding. These topics are things I am wildly passionate about. I've had experiences in my life which have allowed me to see and experience both sides of the parenting spectrum, and as a result I've found my niche as an attachment parent-er. It has proven to be very beneficial for me, my children, and entire family. If you would like to be a contributor to this blog, please leave a comment for me including your email address. Thanks and happy reading!