I know people will chime in and say "well I just couldn't do it" " I didn't make enough milk" and the various excuses that are completely false.
It is VERY rare that a woman CAN NOT breastfeed. Breast reduction is one of the leading reasons because the milk glands have been removed and a lot of times it is true that THESE women can't nurse but 99% of the rest of the world is equipped.
People that turn to me and say "well it just wasn't as easy for me as it was for you"...PISS ME OFF. having a baby attached to me 24/7 when I was recovering from MAJOR surgery that I could feel with no pain medicine that would work IS NOT EASY. I wouldn't send him to the nursery to rest as was suggested. I wouldn't give him "just one bottle" so I could get a break. None of this was easy but I knew that this was what I had to do to make it work. So none of it was easy and do not tell me I am "lucky" that I worked my ass off.
Those first few days are CRITICAL. You can not supplement. You simply can't. Your body needs the stimulation to set up your prolactin receptors in your brain and to set you up for milk production for the duration of your nursing. One bottle can and will throw that off. Your body and your baby's body were designed in this way. Their stomach is the size of a marble and all they need is that coating colostrum. Its what they need. They don't need a two ounce bottle of processed cows milk. This will make them full and then they will not want to nurse and your body will not continue to do what it is supposed to.
So yes, when people say "I can't make enough milk" ... they really can't...because of thier actions, not because of their physiology . Had they not given a bottle of formula the very first day their body would not have told their breasts to produce less milk beacuse the baby didn't need it. So, I am sorry if it is hard to hear. But you did it to your self. Those first couple days are horrible. HORRIBLE and it is not easy so don't anyone tell me how "lucky" I was.
I may be saying how hard it is but it is SO worth it. Even if it doesn't help you bond or you don't enjoy it. You should enjoy what it is doing for your child! You would have to be a bad mother to not.
I can not tell you how many times I have heard people say after a couple weeks "well I just didn't make enough milk" and then you look over pictures of the baby in the hospital and they always have a bottle in their mouth... really? You are right, you don't make enough milk because you told your body that you didn't have a baby because your baby was drinking from a cow!
* I know a lot of women that need to supplement when they return to work because of supply problems and that is not what I am talking about here*
People seem to be so freaking upset when this gets talked about but why would you not want the best for your baby? Why would you not want to try again? Yes formula has a place in this world but if it were not so covienent for people to use just because "breastfeeding is too hard"... maybe we could all be healthier.
It's been proven that breastfed babies grow up to be leaner, healthier adults. Perhaps if we could get breastfeeding rates close to 100% we would not be such a sick nation.
Where would you rather be?
15 comments:
As a footnote I would like to add I largely blame this on the lack of education in our country.... but the point still stands. Please do not going around saying you do not "make enough milk" because this scares new moms into thinking most are doomed.
I TOTALLY agree with Amy's comment. I think a lot of women go in with such low expectations already, very uncommitted because of all the negative things they hear from other moms. Women are designed to BF!! Your body is designed to make enough milk...and plenty of it, to sustain a human being for at least the first 12 months of life. You are absolutely right about the dangers of that very first bottle. Not to say that it will ruin the experience, but it can (and often does) makes things very difficult later on.
After my son was born he was so sleepy and would not wake up to nurse. His blood sugar dipped low and they threatened me with the NICU if I would not give a bottle.
I bawled and bawled as I fed him formula, something I swore I would not do.
I remember praying and begging my Heavenly Father to allow me to nurse and be fine after that. Well, my son is now five months and loves his mommy's chest! He will pat it and smile. I am so grateful I did not give up on nursing when it was hard and I did not have the right support at the hospital. Without the support of family (and Heavenly Father) and from understanding how important breastfeeding is to me, we could have been in a different boat.
I'm a newbie to this blog and I hope you don't mind me posting. I absolutely loved nursing my babies. I appreciate this post. But, that said, I AM one of those women that simply do not make enough milk for their babies.
I had high expectations to breastfeed all my children. I did not supplement for a long time. I was even adamant that they not receive a pacifier for awhile after birth. I cluster nursed my babies for HOURS every single evening. Like, from 3pm until midnight. My last child simply was never satisfied. I did everything, all the herbs, pumping every second the baby wasn't attached, drank tons of water, and ate tons of oatmeal. I was seriously trying everything and my baby was not satisfied.
I could also never pump out more than .5 oz of milk no matter what I did (I tried it all) and my milk looked like skim milk.
My last son (I have three) was not gaining weight and was always crying to nurse. I remember just crying and praying one day about what I should do. I was worn out and my older two boys were getting no attention from me. I felt impressed to supplement one to two bottles of formula a day. I did and that made all the difference in the world! I had a happy baby who I still primarily nursed and who started gaining weight. I finally had a little bit of time to spend with my other children.
I love my babies and I loved nursing them. But, I do believe that my body simply did not make enough or maybe not rich enough milk for them.
WrayLynn, thank you for commenting on this. I like seeing other points of view about this type of thing. I applaud you for doing so much to increase your milk production! That is way more than most moms would do, I do believe. I think it shows that you are a great mom! I think what Amy was venting about moreso (and Amy, correct me if I'm wrong) are the women who give up really soon after their baby is born, or switch to formula completely because nursing is "hard". Of course it is hard! Worthwile things in life are often times hard.
WrayLynn, thank you for commenting on this. I like seeing other points of view about this type of thing. I applaud you for doing so much to increase your milk production! That is way more than most moms would do, I do believe. I think it shows that you are a great mom! I think what Amy was venting about moreso (and Amy, correct me if I'm wrong) are the women who give up really soon after their baby is born, or switch to formula completely because nursing is "hard". Of course it is hard! Worthwile things in life are often times hard.
I myself don't get how bottle feeding is easier... to me it seems like a lot of work, getting it the right temp, cleaning/sterilizing stuff, etc. etc. Breast feeding is so simple, just pull out the boobie and pop it in baby's mouth!! :D
I consider myself extremely lucky... I've had wonderful support from friends, family, and even the hospital where I gave birth. My dad even praised me for breastfeeding, that was a big deal to me. :) I am also lucky in the fact that it has come so easily to me and my babe.
You are very right Veronica.
That is why I tried to have a "disclaimer" there are totally some women that do it all right and don't make enough milk! It does happen. Not often but it does. MY point was that I see it pretty much daily that women quit and blame it on "not enough milk" and they did all the wrong things in the hospital. Like supplementing on day 1 for no medical reason. I hope my point came across wrong and I am sorry if it didn't! :o)
I cluster fed nightly for months. I simply am not a good producer. Had I had to go back to work I would have had to supplement. I meant that *most* women that fail at breastfeeding... failed because of their actions
You are very right Veronica.
That is why I tried to have a "disclaimer" there are totally some women that do it all right and don't make enough milk! It does happen. Not often but it does. MY point was that I see it pretty much daily that women quit and blame it on "not enough milk" and they did all the wrong things in the hospital. Like supplementing on day 1 for no medical reason. I hope my point came across wrong and I am sorry if it didn't! :o)
I cluster fed nightly for months. I simply am not a good producer. Had I had to go back to work I would have had to supplement. I meant that *most* women that fail at breastfeeding... failed because of their actions
Mandy- Not to mention getting up in the middle of the night, trecking across the house to the kitchen, heating a bottle, all while consoling a screaming and hungry infant while the milk gets ready! I have been there with my 2nd child. It was horrible. BF is so great because you just whip it out and plug it in. So freakin awesome :) Baby is happy instantly.
Amy- I'm sorry if I came across rude in any way. I completely understand and feel frustrated when other women give up too easily. I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days and think I still have some guilt from not being able to exclusively breastfeed my children. I had to switch to just formula with my first after the first 6 weeks. We had a lot of issues - he never learned to latch on despite numerous help from lactation consultants, he was rapidly losing weight, I had extreme depression and anxiety, etc. So, he didn't get much breast milk. I learned some from that and worked really hard to nurse my others as much as I could. I guess I just wish I had the experience other women have where it comes more naturally, they have enough milk, etc.
Anyway, sorry to intrude. I really do like this blog!
No sweetie! You are not intruding! I was just saying I hope my post came across the right way! I know there are totally supply issues and women that have REAL reasons for not making enough milk.... but 99% of the time it is because the woman didn't nurse, gave bottles and didn't try!
I hope you stay reading and understand what I meant!
HUGS!
It is the moms who won't even give it a real try that drive me nuts too! WrayLynn you tried everything and that is what counts. I think you are a good mom because you didn't give up, you tried and tried. That is all any of us can do in life is try. The moms Amy was talking about are the ones who just won't try. They want an "easy" way out. I have a family member that decided not to nurse and her husband did all the bottlefeeding so as a result the baby bonded to daddy not mommy. It made me really sad, and it took this mom and her little tyke a long time to bond. Thanks for the great post Amy =)
Beth, I am sorry that you were offended by this. But sadly, I personally know several moms who do this, especially moms with more than 2 children. I was one of those moms. I bottle fed my second child and I did this quite a bit, so I have a basis for comparison. So I personally know first hand that a lot fo women do this. A lot of them are my friends and my sister. Kudos to you for loving on and snuggling your baby while he eats! That is awesome. But Amy posted this because I'm sure SHE has seen this quite a bit too.
I worked my buns off trying to get my breasts to work with my daughter. I even pumped to try to get more out of me. I did not EVER supplement her with a bottle, she starved for a good month or more. Talk about feeling like a piece of crap mother. I kept talking to the pediatrician and nurses and anyone really because I knew she was not getting enough to eat. They suggested I use formula and I said no. I wanted to breast feed. I wanted them to help me figure out how to produce more milk. They just kept on forcing the formula. I did my own research, I took fenugreek. Nothing worked. I could not produce enough milk and I felt very angry that I wasn't given more help when I was begging for it. I'm now pregnant again and I am very determined to breastfeed. I'm also with a different ob/gyn. I am hoping the first time was a fluke and I get to finally enjoy breastfeeding instead of what happened before.
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