APing Older Kids

I haven't posted forever. Part of that is that this pregnancy kicked my butt the first little while. I forgot how sick and exhausted a pea sized little person could make you!! The other part is that I'm not sure where I fit in AP right now. When I think of AP I think of babies. Not so much older kids. I've been trying to think of ways that I practice AP with my older kids? Well, I home school so they are with me most all of the time... But they each have there activities, gymnastics, taekwondo, piano...I don't stay there with them always.
I'm not sure...I mean I'm super affectionate and try to be as available to them as much possible no matter the age, but I'm not sure that's really an AP practice.

As I was looking around on the web I found these 10 principles in THIS ARTICLE
Communicate your love to your child in word and deed each and every day.



Listen for the feelings behind your child's verbal communication and respond to those feelings in an accepting way.


Show respect for your child's unique ideas and opinions.


Discuss mutual goals and plans with your child frequently. Go over the next day's schedule at bedtime. Make sure everyone knows where they will be going, what they will be doing, and what each person's responsibility will be.


Notify your child personally when plans change suddenly.


Continue to touch your child affectionately with hugs, pats on the back, sitting together to read, etc.


Model and teach courtesy, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty, loyalty, responsibility, fairness, and forgiveness.


Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities at home.


Recognize, acknowledge, and praise your child when he makes an effort to do something good -good school papers, obeying parents, helping at home. Make a big deal out of it!


Avoid destructive expressions of anger such as insulting, sarcasm, shaming, yelling, or spanking the child. Use Discipline with Dignity

I think I do most of those things most of the time, so I guess I am still practicing some AP ideas with my older kids also.
So, what do ya think??

Restaurant Calls Police on a BF Mother

I found this article today and was appalled. Now I know there are two sides to every story, but from what I understand the press is really trying to spin it in the restaurant's favor. So sad.

You can read the mother's side of the story here.

And you can read a great retort to the restaurant here.

Beth's mommy instinct story

I love my two year old, I really do.  When I was pregnant with him I was so excited to hold him and get to know him.  Before he was born I read a lot.  I knew I would breastfeed, I didn't like the sound of cry it out, I would wait six months to start solids and on and on.  I also thought I would vaccinate on schedule.  But that just did not feel right.  I distinctly remember when I was reading about vaccines and I would just start crying because I did not want to do that to my baby.

Jay did not receive any shots until he was an older infant (6+months).  Even then they were quite spaced out.  Jay's first birthday came and went and I realized that he has not ever tried to speak.  At his 18 month birthday he had zero words and a few signs.  I asked for a referral for a speech evaluation.  The diagnosis was devastating.  Verbal apraxia.  Basically the brain is unable to send the right message to make the mouth work.  Well, I was not sure if that was the case.  I got a second opinion who is not sure if it is apraxia or not.  We will have to see.  She did let me know about Early Intervention services.  I am so happy we started him on those.  He is a lot more verbal, though I think I am the only one who can understand him most of the time.  His signing vocabulary has grown.  He is happier and more confident.

After my second son I thought I would have him on a delayed vaccination schedule, but actually have felt comfortable with sticking to the doctor's schedule with a few tweaks here and there.  I realize that maybe there was a very important reason to delay Jay's vaccinations.  Who knows?  I am just glad I followed my mommy instinct with this issue.

I have also learned to respect other mommies in their decisions.  I offer my advice as nicely as I can, but if they want to put their baby to bed at 11:00pm that is fine with me.   This comes from having way too many people say "Einstein didn't talk until he was three, you don't need to start your boy in services" whenever they would hear that I am getting Jay some help.

I hope this post makes sense, it has been rattling around in my head for a few days. 

My sweet and wild two year old

Beth

A Fascinating Read

Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent

I came across this book recently and I must say, it is one of the most interesting things I've ever read. Meredith F. Small is an anthropologist who explores ethnopediatrics, an interdisciplinary science that combines anthropology, pediatrics, and child development research in order to examine how child-rearing styles across cultures affect the health and survival of infants.

She seemed to validate many things that I have felt in my gut about parenting. I highly recommend this book!!

Cloth Diaper Store

I am working on a babywearing post but I just realized I never "pimped myself out"

Here is the link to my store. I need to restock soon! I am running a special on the babyhawks still for $20 off!

They are the most awesome carriers EVER! We still use ours and Tyler is 22 months!

http://www.crunchybunz.com/

A Happy 5 Month Old

Devin is five months old already. Where is the time going? How can you look at him and not want to spend every second of the day just squeezing his chunky body? Oh he is the sweetest thing. This time is fleeting so I am trying to savor every minute of his babyhood.

CIO Thread

I frequent a parenting message board on Baby Center. I don't know why I visit this board because I always end up walking away wanting to hurt someone. Here is a thread that was started yesterday about CIO. What are your thoughts?

The CIO Method- An Interesting Perspective

This post is taken directly from www.womanuncensored.blogspot.com What an interesting way to look at it!

There was a time, not so long ago in my life, when I was nearly as helpless as a baby. It was a dark time in my life, when it should have been a radiant one. I was pregnant, and joyously happy about it, but my body was not. I was sick, and not in a "oh I don't feel so hot" kind of way. It was a "if I didn't have big things to live for, I'd want to die" kind of sick. Some of you may have experienced this too. I could literally not even hold down a sip of water or a nibble of food. Eating made me throw up. Not eating made me throw up. I would throw up stomach bile. Anyway, the point is that I was VERY weak. At 4 months pregnant, I weighed less than I did when I was 16 (and everyone called me stick girl back then). My clothes were falling off of me, instead of becoming tight. Every few days, I would be able to hold down maybe one meal's worth of food. In case you are wondering, it is called Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and it typically does not respond to medical or natural treatments. We tried anything that wouldn't be harmful to the baby, and nothing worked. Despite the physical misery, the emotional scars I suffered at the hands of a loved one were far more profound.

I grew so weak that I could rarely leave the bed. I needed support just walking the 10 feet to the bathroom. I needed a shower stool and help getting clean. Just raising my arms to wash my hair was an immense strain. I relied heavily on my husband.

My husband was loving during the day, but things would change at night. He would leave me in the bed, tell me it was time to sleep, shut off the lights, and walk out. I would say "But honey, I'm not ready to sleep yet" but he would ignore me. It was confusing. Sometimes, I'd be having a day where I felt I may be able to eat or drink something, and I would call out to him, asking for something. Again, he would ignore me. Sometimes he would poke his head in, but it was only to tell me that I needed to go to sleep and I was "fine". I had times where I grew very depressed. On top of being sick and miserable, I missed my husband's loving arms. Sometimes I just needed to be held and comforted. Still, he would ignore me. I began to wonder why my needs were valid during the day, but not at night. At times, he would leave the room far too cold or warm. Sometimes I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Sometimes the pain all over my body became unbearable. Sometimes I was just very scared and lonely. Alas, no matter what I felt or needed, my husband ignored me.

I longed desperately for my independance, and loathed needing another person for even the smallest things, but for the time being, there was nothing I could do but ask for enough help to at least keep myself and our baby alive. I was so hurt and confused. I would weep bitterly, alone in the dark. One night, I overheard my mother in law talking with my husband. She said "Just let her cry. She has to learn. Don't let her manipulate you, she doesn't really need anything. Keep it up and you'll win eventually." Win? What exactly was he going to win, and at what cost?

Eventually, I lost all trust in my husband. I would lie there in bed, hungry, hot, cold, hurting, and/or just plain sad and lonely. I stopped asking for help. I later heard my husband boast that he had finally "trained" me. So now I was an animal. Why did he get to decide what needs and feelings of mine were valid, and which were not? Why was it okay for him to be my husband during the day, to love me, talk with me, and help me, but at night time all my needs were expected to suddenly cease? I would never be able to fully trust or open my heart to him again.

In the darkest time of my life, my most beloved person failed to be there for me. My needs were small, things that would take very little time or effort, but were of great importance to my physical and emotional health. I was neglected. You may even call it abuse. Fortunately, it was a brief time in my life. Unfortunately, there are countless more victims of this kind of neglect, and even worse. They are even more helpless than I was. They are babies. Sweet, innocent babies. They have parents that love them fiercely and truely, but fall victim to beliefs and advice that (usually) inadvertently put babies on a level even lower than animals. Books and well-meaing friends or family tell tired new parents to "just let her cry". This is often referred to as CIO (cry-it-out) or "controlled crying", although the already twisted concept of controlled crying is often further misunderstood and warped and becomes "I let my baby scream for 2 hours and eventually she threw up and wasn't the same for weeks after".

Helpless babies are expected to cease all "neediness" once a certain time on the clock comes around. Their God/nature-given intincts to cry and express real physical AND emotional needs are ignored or written off as manipulation or just plain not "real" needs. Why? If a sick adult or an elderly person were treated in such a way, they would suffer in deep ways and the person responsible for their care could even end up in prison.

Why are babies treated as less than human? Why would we WANT to teach our children that we won't be there for them? Why should we get to pick and choose which needs are "real" and which ones are not. Why should our job as parents simply end at night? Just because they've been fed and changed doesn't mean they are "fine". All they have is their instincts. For all they know, a predator could be lurking and waiting to eat them! They are programmed by God/nature to want to be near us for their own safety and for their proper development. We know that human contact is essential to the developing brain of a baby, but we deny their natural pleas for such contact. We lock them in the dark and even though we may sing, pat them, and say "you're okay, sweetie", when we walk out of the room and leave them in the dark alone they may still be cold, hot, uncomfortable, in pain, or just plain scared or lonely! Why is that so wrong? "Cry it out" or "controlled crying" is just neglect with a different name.

Scientists everywhere know the short and long term consequences of these so-called "methods", and they are vast. Most parents also instinctually know these things. Some parents listen to those instincts, and others listen to people like my mother in law who say "Just let her cry. She has to learn. Don't let her manipulate you, she doesn't really need anything. Keep it up and you'll win eventually." These people usually mean well. They aren't setting out to harm a child, but that doesn't change the fact that they are. Argue with me all you want. Say "I let my baby cry it out, and he/she is fine". I don't believe you. I believe you broke your child like an animal. I believe they gave up. They didn't magically learn to "self-soothe", they just figured out that you suck at being a parent at night time. YOU will be old some day, or you may find yourself in a helpless situation even earlier than that. See how you feel if another person tells you what to feel, when to feel it, and how to express it. See how you feel if they ignore your feelings and only meet the needs that THEY deem valid. See how you feel if you are treated like less than an animal, someone that must be trained. Someone that must lose, so they can win. A baby has far less capacity to understand these things, so the next time your little helpless one cries out, remember that they cry for a reason. Even just wanting to be held is a real NEED. If you've ever seen what happens to those babies in foreign orphanages that never get held or talked to, you'll realize the incredible importance of human contact. It's so simple.

I could go on for days with even a million more reasons, but I will leave you with a few resources, and a simple piece of advice. Next time you hear "Just let him/her cry", think twice. You'll never regret being there for your child.

Edit: It was mentioned that I condemned CIO/sleep training without offering alternatives. I guess my links below were missed? Anyway, I'll add some more ;-)

Pinky McKay does an excellent job of summing up the very real damage that "controlled crying" can do. This is a must-read on the subject! Enjoy. http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html

Dr. Sears is another great resource. If you have a baby with sleep problems or just want to learn more about babies and sleep in general, give it a look! http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

TONS of great articles about sleep: http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html

Anyone please feel free to share more! I'm pretty tired at the moment, but its hard to find time when I am both well-rested AND have the time to write :-P


***ALSO! This is very important. I want to make it very clear, for the sake of my friends that may be rather concerned now, that the above story is only half-true and was given a different spin for the purpose of making people think. I was unfortunately very sick and helpless, but my husband would NEVER neglect or abuse me in such a way. I did want to make people think though. If any other helpless person (sick, injured, elderly) were treated in the ways described, people would be disgusted. The fact that babies are often "trained" in such a manner proves that babies are still viewed by many people as lesser beings with invalid needs and feelings, even though the care-taker probably doesn't realize that is what they are doing.

I would also like to add that when a parent is near their breaking point and has to put their child down in a safe space and leave the room briefly for the sake of gathering their sanity, that is VERY different. This is essential to preventing a mental break in the parent and possible harm to the child. Do not feel guilty if you've found yourselves in moments like these. It is an entirely different situation than it is to leave a child crying, screaming, even vomiting alone in the dark on a regular basis for "training" purposes.

Babywearing Guidelines

I just saw this link on Facebook and wanted to share. Warning: it is a bit sad. I was actually not aware that baby's chin shouldn't touch his chest, so that was good for me to read.

Nursing a Toddler

Nursing toddlers benefit NUTRITIONALLY

• Although there has been little research done on children who breastfeed beyond the age of two, the available information indicates that breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.

• "Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."
  -- Mandel 2005

• "Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins."
  -- Dewey 2001

• In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
  • 29% of energy requirements
  • 43% of protein requirements
  • 36% of calcium requirements
  • 75% of vitamin A requirements
  • 76% of folate requirements
  • 94% of vitamin B₁₂ requirements
  • 60% of vitamin C requirements
  -- Dewey 2001

• Studies done in rural Bangladesh have shown that breastmilk continues to be an important source of vitamin A in the second and third year of life.
  -- Persson 1998

Nursing toddlers have FEWER ALLERGIES

• Many studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent allergies and asthma is to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months and continue breastfeeding long-term after that point.
  
  Breastfeeding can be helpful for preventing allergy by:
  1. reducing exposure to potential allergens (the later baby is exposed, the less likely that there will be an allergic reaction),
  2. speeding maturation of the protective intestinal barrier in baby's gut,
  3. coating the gut and providing a barrier to potentially allergenic molecules,
  4. providing anti-inflammatory properties that reduce the risk of infections (which can act as allergy triggers). 
   
  Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest. 
  
  Nursing toddlers are WELL ADJUSTED SOCIALLY
  
  • According to Sally Kneidel in "Nursing Beyond One Year" (New Beginnings, Vol. 6 No. 4, July-August 1990, pp. 99-103.):
    
    "Research reports on the psychological aspects of nursing are scarce. One study that dealt specifically with babies nursed longer than a year showed a significant link between the duration of nursing and mothers' and teachers' ratings of social adjustment in six- to eight-year-old children (Ferguson et al, 1987). In the words of the researchers, 'There are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration of breastfeeding.'"
• According to Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq. in "Extended Breastfeeding and the Law":
  "Breastfeeding is a warm and loving way to meet the needs of toddlers and young children. It not only perks them up and energizes them; it also soothes the frustrations, bumps and bruises, and daily stresses of early childhood. In addition, nursing past infancy helps little ones make a gradual transition to childhood."

• Baldwin continues: "Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable." Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely. 

Nursing a toddler is NORMAL

• The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

• The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that "Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired." They also note that "If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned." (AAFP 2001)

• A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)

• The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1992, WHO 2002).

• Scientific research by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect (Dettwyler 1995). 

MOTHERS also benefit from nursing past infancy

• Extended nursing delays the return of fertility in some women by suppressing ovulation (References).

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer (References). Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer (References).

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer (References).

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer (References).

• Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis. During lactation a mother may experience decreases of bone mineral. A nursing mom's bone mineral density may be reduced in the whole body by 1 to 2 percent while she is still nursing. This is gained back, and bone mineral density may actually increase, when the baby is weaned from the breast. This is not dependent on additional calcium supplementation in the mother's diet. (References).

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of rheumatoid arthritis. (References).

• Breastfeeding has been shown to decrease insulin requirements in diabetic women (References). 
• Breastfeeding moms tend to lose weight easier

Six months and counting

My sweet little guy is six month old and still loving the boob. Lovin' the boob so much he does not even want to try solids yet.

He is big, healthy and his favorite place to be is nuzzling into his mama for his favorite snack.

Maybe it isn't as 'convenient' for me as bottle feeding would be, but looking at his happy face grabbing at my shirt to get inside is worth the so called 'bother'.

Beth

Benefits of Formula Feeding?

I came across this article and was shocked. How freaking selfish can you be?

Many mothers today are made to feel guilty about bottle feeding their baby. The medical profession, the media, family, strangers in the street, all eulogize the benefits of breastfeeding. We're told; it's natural; it has just the right nutrients for your baby; it promotes better bonding between mother and child; it's environmentally friendly! All of these things are true to an extent but the plain fact is, many mothers do not breastfeed their child and many are made to feel like a pariah if they opt for the bottle. Promoting breastfeeding as being best is fine, but disparaging mothers who bottle feed is not.


If you are a mother who has chosen not to breastfeed, and who can't breastfeed, you must never, ever feel guilty about doing so. Today's baby milk formula is the closest it has ever been to breast milk. It also comes fortified with many nutrients that are low or absent in many mother's breast milk. Formula milk is fortified with iron and vitamin D. Fact: Iron-fortified infant formulas have actually been credited for the declining incidence of anemia in infants. For this reason, the American Academy of Pediatrics highly recommends that mothers who are not breastfeeding use an iron-fortified infant formula. So, as far as nutrition goes, a mother need have no worries about giving her baby milk formula.
Being a mother is very tiring. Infant formula milk is not as easily digested as mother's milk. Consequently, the baby feels satiated for longer periods and this extends the time between feedings at an earlier stage. So a mother who bottle feeds can get more rest between feeds than a mother who breastfeeds.

One major cause of concern for breastfeeding mothers is knowing whether or not her baby is getting enough milk. Not so with infant formula. A mother who bottle feeds her baby knows exactly how much she has fed her child and can rest easy knowing her child has received its recommended daily allowance.
A mother who bottle feeds her child can return to a more normal life than a mother who breastfeeds. A mother who bottle feeds can wear the clothes she wants; a nursing mother has to wear clothes to accommodate her hungry baby. A mother who bottle feeds can eat the diet she chooses and not have to worry about drinking alcohol; a breastfeeding mother's diet is a much duller affair. Bottle feeding mothers can take medication when the need to; a breastfeeding mother has to be very careful about any medication she takes as this will be passed on to baby through her breast milk, in fact some medication may even stop her milk production.
Lovemaking is sometimes not easy for the breastfeeding woman because the hormonal changes associated with lactation leaves her vagina dry. In addition, breastfeeding can lead to sore nipples and leaky breasts, which are not conducive to lovemaking. A bottle feeding mother should not have these problems. She also has the added benefit of being able to choose the contraception of her choice. A breastfeeding mother cannot take the oral pill as its hormones will be passed on to baby through her breast milk.
A mother who bottle feeds her child can begin to diet six weeks after delivery. A breastfeeding mother on the other hand, has to be careful about her diet.
Bottle feeding in public tends to be far less embarrassing for a mother than does breastfeeding. A consequence is that many mothers who choose to bottle feed generally venture outdoors much more than those who breastfeeding; society has not made public breastfeeding easy for mothers.
So, next time you may feel as though you're letting yourself and baby down, remember that they are many advantages to giving your baby infant formula, for both mother and child.

A friend of mine said the following:

I find these types of articles quite comical.  Majority, if not all of the benefits, are for the mother.  You don't have to feel guilty if you bottle feed, but seriously, there are no benefits to bottle feeding for the baby OVER breastfeeding.  Here's my response to every point she makes.

Today's baby milk formula is the closest it has ever been to breast milk.
And so it was 30 years ago, and 20 years ago, and 10 years ago, and will be 10 years from now.  They’re always as close as they can get for the time that we’re in, but that doesn’t mean they’re really close.  We also don’t even know all of what’s in breastmilk so it’s hard to compare.

It also comes fortified with many nutrients that are low or absent in many mother's breast milk.
Fortified is another way of saying unnaturally added vitamins.  Also, the reason that breast milk lacks these “fortified vitamins” are because we’re trying to grow human babies slowly, not cows.  Human babies don’t need as much iron as cows, and humans can’t absorb as much iron from cows either.

Infant formula milk is not as easily digested as mother's milk. Consequently, the baby feels satiated for longer periods and this extends the time between feedings at an earlier stage. So a mother who bottle feeds can get more rest between feeds than a mother who breastfeeds.

The baby is having a harder time digesting and this is a benefit?  Wow.  This is only a benefit to a mother’s sleep, which the mother will get in time and with a proper sleep routine.  If you want sleep that bad, don’t have a baby.  BTW, nursing gives the mother a time out so she has no choice but to rest. :)

A mother who bottle feeds her baby knows exactly how much she has fed her child and can rest easy knowing her child has received its recommended daily allowance.
Even better, when you don’t bottle feed you don’t have to worry at all about how much your baby is getting because as soon as they pop off and don’t want the boob anymore you can say they are done, no measuring required.  Wet diapers and weight gains are ways of knowing your baby is eating enough. BTW, if you can’t measure how much breastmilk a baby is getting, where did the recommended daily allowance come from then?

A mother who bottle feeds her child can return to a more normal life than a mother who breastfeeds.
Normal?  So I can live like I don’t have a kid anymore?  Awesome.  Er… what is normal anyways?  If we are talking about a normal body, then breastfeeding will actually help you lose weight much faster and ease your hormones rather than if you were to formula feed.

A mother who bottle feeds can wear the clothes she wants; a nursing mother has to wear clothes to accommodate her hungry baby.
I can find a way to feed my baby in anything I wear.  I can find a way to pop a boob out for the babe.

A mother who bottle feeds can eat the diet she chooses and not have to worry about drinking alcohol; a breastfeeding mother's diet is a much duller affair.
We all know that when you’re a mother you’re up at 10 AM with a full bottle of wine.  I mean really, who can drink a lot while your child is awake anyways?  If you need that much alcohol, you have a problem.  Otherwise just drink after your child has just finished nursing, it’s not hard.And I can eat pretty much anything I want!

Bottle feeding mothers can take medication when they need to; a breastfeeding mother has to be very careful about any medication she takes as this will be passed on to baby through her breast milk, in fact some medication may even stop her milk production.

This is true.  If you have a serious disease/illness/problem where you can’t stop your medication, then don’t, and choose not to breastfeed.  Likely you can breastfeed on this medication anyways. Mothers milk with medication in it still far surpasses artifical milk

Lovemaking is sometimes not easy for the breastfeeding woman because the hormonal changes associated with lactation leaves her vagina dry.  In addition, breastfeeding can lead to sore nipples and leaky breasts, which are not conducive to lovemaking.
Use lube if you’re dry, duh.  Sore nipples will either heal over a short time or your latch was/is not correct, try to fix it early.  Leaky breasts only last up to 2 months, until you stop leaking they make nursing pads, use those.  Lovemaking… who the hell wants to have sex when you have a baby anyways? Also, your husband should not care about you leaking. Find a new husband if he is bothered by it. I personally have no dry problems.

A breastfeeding mother cannot take the oral pill as its hormones will be passed on to baby through her breast milk.
A breastfeeding mother can use the mini pill if that’s her choice. A mother can also take a normal pill. The hormones passing to the baby are not the issue. There are condoms which are hormone free and probably better for you anyways.  There’s IUDs, diaphragms, and uhh just knowing when you’re fertile and avoiding.  Even better though, breastfeeding hormones usually prevent you from getting your period for about 6 months or more.  This is your body’s way of keeping you from having another baby too soon, naturally.

A mother who bottle feeds her child can begin to diet six weeks after delivery. A breastfeeding mother on the other hand, has to be careful about her diet
A fad diet to which you can’t have while you breastfeed is probably not good for the mother as well.  There are times when you have to cut dairy or certain veggies out too, but there are plenty of other foods you can eat, choose one of those.  But the great thing about breastfeeding is that nursing helps you burn calories so you don't have to "diet."

Bottle feeding in public tends to be far less embarrassing for a mother than does breastfeeding. A consequence is that many mothers who choose to bottle feed generally venture outdoors much more than those who breastfeeding; society has not made public breastfeeding easy for mothers
Actually I think breastfeeding is far less embarrassing.  I’m proud to have breastfed, why would I not want to show people what I’ve accomplished?  And the fact that the public doesn’t make it easy for mothers is a problem that society needs to get over, but the mother, she’s done nothing wrong.

A Great Read

I just want to recommend a really good book that I just read. It's a worth while book for all parents to look at. It is called: The Two-Income Trap, Why Middle-class Mothers & Fathers Are Going Broke. It is written by Professor Elizabeth Warren and her daughter Amelia Warren Tyagi. You may wonder why I'm putting this recommendation on a parenting blog and how it is relevant. In my mind anything that improves a family improves parenting. So, give it a read. Also, if you are worried that it stresses at-home-parenting and ignores the working mom... think again! This book offers great insight for everyone.

Nursing In Public

I can't recall where I found this, but I think it's pretty dang funny...and true!

Unfortunate Scene

I observed something on Saturday that left me feeling sad. This is it. Take it how you want to.

Our family was eating at a restaurant. It's a pretty rare occurrence for us because we have four little kids and it never goes well when we eat out. But on Saturday we were seated near a group that consisted of a fashionably dressed mom and dad who had a baby (I'd say to be about five months old) and another couple with no children. They were seated at a table with four chairs surrounding it. The baby stayed in her carseat the whole time, being more or less ignored by the parents. She would fuss a little and they would not really acknowledge her.

She started getting hungry. She was fussing and sucking on her little hands. The parents just kept talking and laughing with each other. Finally the father got up and got an empty bottle from the diaper bag. He walked away from the table and I assumed he was going to fill it with water to mix with formula. As he was walking away, he passed a table where seated were some friends of his because he stopped to talk to them. The baby started crying more and more. Yet the father stood there at this table and laughed and talked with his buddies. I watched the mother who was still seated at their table and finally she started to at least jostle the car seat and shush the baby.

Her crying grew louder and louder. The father continued to chat with his friends, holding the empty bottle in his hand. He eventually said "Well I guess that's my cue" and left to get the bottle filled with water. By the time he returned to their table, the baby was screaming. She was starving. The mom quickly mixed the powder formula into the bottle and gave it to the infant. Never once did she pick up the baby to soothe her. Even as she drank her bottle, she remained in the carseat. And did I mention that bottle was propped up by a folded blanket as the baby drank? Yup, the mother didn't hold it. They were seated a table with ample room for her to comfortably hold the baby as she fed her. Cuddle with her. Make her feel better. They were done eating, just chatting so it's not like the mother needed her hand for feeding her own face. She never even picked the baby up.

The whole scene made me a little sick to my stomach.

His Everything

This is Devin.
He has been outside the belly for 19 weeks now. He is one happy baby. He has never had anything in his tummy except Mommy's milk. He weighs about 16 1/2 pounds.

He is healthy.

He is alert.

He is smart.

He is well adjusted.

He is content.

This picture was taken right after he had a snack.

Try and tell me that he isn't getting everything he needs from Mommy.

Home Educating

I've been wondering what I could post about. There are a lot of posts on breastfeeding and baby stuff and I'm kind of out of that stage right now. My "baby" is 2 1/2 and I won't have another baby until October. I'm also in the stage of pregnancy when I feel "blah". I'm exhausted, nauseous and lacking motivation, so I haven't felt like the greatest mommy lately anyway.

We are a homeschooling family. This year and I am home schooling my 1st grader and preschooler. This is a big job for me. I home schooled my oldest son who is now almost 13, for K and 1st grade. I loved every minute of it. He is a quick learner and is a very mellow, obedient child. He was "easy" to teach. My 1st grader is just like me. Stubborn, independent and free spirited. He doesn't like authority at all! He is not so "easy" to teach! I've finally figured out a curriculum that is working for both him and I and it's getting better. Being able to stay home and teach my children is so rewarding. I love to see their eyes light up as they learn and master new things. I love to see them create new things and see their imaginations at work. I love to see the ties they build with each other. The connections that they have because they are all home together. I feel very blessed to be able to have my kids at home all the time.
BUT...I want to say this. I know that home schooling is not the best option for every family. I feel like we are ALL home schoolers to some extent. We all teach our children at home in some way, not always academically. I have a friend, whom I think is such a great mom. She does not home school and we have VERY different views and opinions on a lot of subjects. But she is so good to her kids. She makes a point to spend good, quality time with each of her children. She is very unselfish with her time. I see her spending her days doing art projects and reading and singing and playing games with her kids. You can just see how much she cares about them and that she really wants to teach them and help them grow. She is a great example to me as to what a nurturing mother should be. I really look up to her. So, I really believe that we are all "home schoolers" in one way or another. 
If you have thought about or are interested in home schooling, look into it. It's so great. I'd be happy to answer questions or point you in the direction of some good sites. There is so much great information out there. If you "feel" like home schooling is something you should do, then it probably is! :)

Hypotheically

So let's say you have this super new car? And pretty much everyone you know is getting this same car. Let's say that you find some amazing information on how to make this car better. You find out how to make the car run better, look better, feel better and last longer. And best of all, the things you can do are FREE and so much easier than the way you have been taking care of the car. Not to say the way you have been taking care of the car is wrong but there is a better way to take care of it that you didn't know about fully. The way that it was supposed to be taken care of. Wouldn't you want to know about it? Wouldn't you want your friends to tell you if they had this information? I know I sure would.

WHY IS IT DIFFERENT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CHILD? Why do you get offended when people simply try to share information that can make your child healthier, happier and live longer?

This is how I feel about people who get all butt hurt about sharing parenting advice.... really? Why wouldn't you want to do better. I am not attacking what you did in the past but for the sake of your kids... try better next time. 






Veronica has the BEST quote on here..... 

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
— Maya Angelou

So Glad I Didn't

Devin turned 4 months old on Thursday. He has been an exceptionally great nurser since he was born (not that I myself didn't go through an enormous amount of pain and setbacks in the beginning...). For the last serveral days he has seemed less satisfied with nursing. He started nursing around the clock again like he did as a newborn, and was very cranky and unhappy after each feeding.

On Thursday I felt very sad because I thought maybe he needed to start on solids. This was a huge blow to me because it made me feel like I wasn't able to give him everything he needed. I went on Facebook and asked around to see what I should do (lol- turning to society for the answers and not listening to my gut.) Most people told me it wouldn't hurt anything to start him on rice because THEIR pediatricians said it was okay. Yes, it likely is safe enough, but that isn't the only thing to consider.

I admit that when my oldest was a baby, I started him on rice at 3 1/2 months because he was VERY big (about 17 pounds at that age) and everyone said I wasn't giving him enough milk. He loved baby food from the second it touched his tongue. Well I'm sad to say that this did in fact begin a gradual weaning process and he weaned himself from nursing at 8 months. Then I tried #2 on solids at the same age and was very frustrated that she wanted nothing to do with them. I tried and forced solids on her LONG before she was ready. She tried to tell me that but I refused to listen.

Lauren, baby #3, went with out solids and lived solely on milk for the first 8 months of her life. She in turn nursed until she was 13 months old (but looking back I wish I'd nursed for a few more months). I really wanted that for Devin as well. So I promised myself I would not offer him anything but the breast until at least 6 months. And when he started becoming unsatisfied with my milk alone, it made me feel really sad!

He had his 4 month check up on Thursday and guess what- the poor guy had a massive double ear infection! Bad ears run in my husband's family. He and his siblings have very short eustachian tubes and had ear infections frequently as a result. So what I thought was a hungry baby, in fact turned out to be a hurting baby. He started turning to me more often for comfort, not because he was hungry. When I realized this, I was so happy! If he hadn't gone into the doctor that day, I likely would have become too frustrated and given him cereal at the tender age of 4 months.

I'm so glad he just needed his mommy to feel better. And I am more than happy to be there for him like that.

Beth's Introduction

I love babies.
Love them to pieces.
If I could have a permanent baby, like a pet, I would be in heaven.

I love newborns. I crave having my newborn babies as close to me as possible. I love to sleep with them. I love when they nuzzle in to nurse. That is just the most beautiful feeling.

I love when they become more aware of the world around them. When they are just drinking everything in with their eyes.

I love when babies start reacting. A smile, a laugh.

I love when babies start learning that they can interact with their world. That they can get smiles out of people or learning to use a toy.

I love when babies want to be more independent. It's hard because I wanted to stay the most important person in their life, but I love seeing their progression into becoming their own person.

I am Beth and I am addicted to babies (babyholic?). I have two children, a two year old and a five month old. My five month old and I are still in the honeymoon stage where we can't get enough of each other. My two year old and I have a more complex relationship.

I was drawn to this blog because of the premise, instinctive parenting. That just spoke to me as a great definition of what I want to do for my family. My parenting style is that I research many things and then find a solution that fits for my child. I do not think there is one size fits all in parenting. I believe in following your intuition for big and small decisions. I think that as parents we are given a gift from our Creator to be able to know what our child needs to thrive.

Here are a few of the topics I am passionate about and will probably be posting on:

I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding babies as long as possible. I delay solids as long as possible. I think that if my baby needed rice cereal I would have a third breast full of it.

I am a huge supporter of having a parent stay at home with children. Households that have one parent stay home are giving children one of the best gifts they can possibly give. No one can love your children like you can. One of my goals in my previous career as a financial educator was to help people find ways to stay home, too many have been told by the media that it is impossible to get by on one salary, but that is a huge myth.

I try to practice positive discipline with my oldest child. I believe that the consequence should be the lesson, not me lecturing or nagging him. My two year old has chores, yes he does. And he loves it and his behavior has greatly improved since then.

I am happy to be a part of this blog and cannot wait to learn from everyone else.

Me wearing both of my babies (about six months along with #2)

Beth